There’s Room For You!

As I wake to this grand and glorious day,
what is this day, by the way?
Is this Monday or Friday, can anyone say?
I get so confused, try as I may.
But don’t we all, here in The Home.

A pinochle game got started last Fall
by four old men who live down the hall.
They meet every Monday at half past ten,
deal the same grimy cards, make up tales they can spin.
Life is exciting here in The Home.

I’ll have my breakfast, then sit around
until the bus is ready to go downtown.
Where does it go? I don’t have a clue.
I ride it to have something better to do
than read the obits, here in The Home.

Someday when you are old and gray,
I’ll recommend this place to stay,
where you can get a big head start
for the line to the bus that goes to Walmart.
Life is great here in The Home.

The only advice I would offer you
is to stay away from the Wednesday beef stew.
Old Mr. Jones, who’s one hundred and two,
ate a big bowl and turned navy blue!
Never a dull moment , here in The Home.

Now don’t get me wrong, the workers are nice
and they should be, given the annual price!
I sold my house, my car and my wife
to enjoy this remarkable Rest Home life.
Just too many old folks, here in The Home.

And here is the final word I will say:
I met Gertrude just the other day.
I kissed her under the apple tree
but she said she wouldn’t marry me
til she checked out her options, here in The Home.

As I close this grand and glorious day,
just before I sleep you’ll hear me say:
Am I in Tucson or Kalamazoo?
And will somebody fix me a bowl of that stew?
There’s a lovely room waiting for you,
here in The Home.