Blind Date

I went on a blind date about a week ago,
my pal Bob said she had the sweetest glow,
that her eyes were blue and her skin was fair
that we would make a beautiful pair–
wait’ll I get my hands on Bob!

(Chorus to be sung after each stanza)

I wish I had known you when you had some teeth
and your eyes weren’t crossed
cause, Honey, I’m at a loss
about what to say,  My words can’t convey
just how I feel right now,

We went to a movie; thank God it was dark.
I tried to make a casual remark
but her snoring was loud and she never heard
a single, solitary casual word.
That girl can saw some logs!

(C)

We stopped at a drive-in after the show
and I found out she eats remarkably slow
but then three burgers, some fries and a coke,
I’m not lyin’; it’s no joke.
She can really put it away!

(C)

I think she wanted me to kiss her goodnight.
I thought to myself: Well, she can’t bite.
But I took her hand and I kissed it instead,
I’m sure my face turned a bright shade of red.
She was holdin’ a bag of cold fries!

(C)

I met up with Bob just the other day.
He saw me comin’ and turned away,
but I caught him at the corner of Main Street and Sky;
I have no idea how he got that black eye.
I don’t think I’ll ever date again!