Do you have to be holy to live around here?
Could I grill a steak and drink a beer
while telling a slightly off-color joke?
I’ve only lived around common folk
and I’ve avoided church since Grandpa died.
To tell the truth, I’ve cussed and lied.
I cheated at cards a week ago,
raked up my cash but I left too slow
and two guys out in the parking lot
decided they wanted the winning pot
and that’s how I got this big black eye,
so I’m not so sure I  ought to try
to live on Heavenly Sky.

I probably should live on Redneck Road,
move over there with a pickup load
of odds and ends and my four dollar dog.
He’s a nice brown color but dense as a log.
He chases cars and howls at the moon
and, as you might guess, it was pretty soon
that the Sheriff stopped by to say hello,
said my old dog would have to go.
My next door neighbor is fit to be tied,
said he’d be glad to give me a ride
to the local chapter of SPCA,
and he’d like to do it right now, today.

Well, I don’t have a dog; I don’t have a wife,
it’s a very sad and lonely life.
Should I have made a harder try
at living on lovely Heavenly Sky?
I could buy new shoes and comb my hair,
tell my neighbors not to stare
at my pickup truck with dents and rust.
Give me a chance; I’m a man you can trust!
I’ve turned a new leaf; I’ll make ’em all proud,
I promise not to belch out loud.
I’ll look refined in my brand new coat
as I walk Josephine, my favorite goat,
down the sidewalk on Heavenly Sky.

As close as I’ll come
to the Sweet By and By!