Happiness Plan

In the course of this brand new, shiny day,
I plan to sing and dance and play
and somewhere along the charted way
I’ll have a thought or two.

I trust that the thought will not interfere
with my plans to bring joy and outlandish cheer
to all who are far and all who come near
in this remarkable day.

I’ve worked on this plan since ’98.
My wife and my dog simply could not wait
to see the results and celebrate.
They left me a month ago.

Shortsighted, I think.  She said I was weird.
She told the police how she greatly feared
that my sense had long ago disappeared.
She left the cat behind!

I consulted my guru and plotted the stars,
bought a box of imported Cuban cigars,
contacted the papers, began my memoir.
Everything fell into place.

But enough of that!  The time has come.
Please sound the bugles and beat the drums.
This sad old world is about to become…
Oh, no!
I feel a thought coming on.
Will somebody take this cat!